5 ways to be kinder to yourself when you’re making art
Creating art can be intimidating. From my own experience, and through leading others in experimenting with art during my mindful art sessions, I have found that there is so much joy to be found in creating.
A lot of people have told me that they had been put off making art from an experience in school; there was a ‘wrong’ and a ‘right’ way to do it and it made it feel like you could get creating ‘wrong’. I see this as such a shame, because art can be a fantastic way to relax, to be on your own side, and to prioritise your mental health.
We can learn so much from making art
I see creating art as a little microcosm of life. We can learn so much from making art; how we feel when we’re creating, how we relate to it, how we relate to ourselves. There’s so many ways we can take lessons away that can be applied to our lives.
For me, a huge part of learning to be kinder to myself has been practicing mindfulness, and how making art mindfully can truly enhance the process. For me, mindful art is just a no brainer (so to speak)!
So today I’d like to write about being kind to ourselves when we’re creating. I tend to imagine something like painting, drawing or collaging, but it could also be whilst you’re knitting, gardening, baking, building an ark, blowing glass… you get the picture.
I like to remind myself that I can take important lessons away from the art making process.
So, here goes!
1. Let go of expectations of yourself and your artwork
Everyone can make art!
In my experience, one of the biggest hurdles to people creating art is the idea that they are ‘not good at art’. “I can’t draw” is something I hear a lot, along with “I’m not very creative”.
Creativity is actually about problem-solving and generating ideas. It’s not about being able to draw a tree or dog or person’s face from memory. (For some reason people always equate being good at art to being able to invent things from their imagination, with no reference material?!)
I’d argue that the issue isn't 'not being good at art', but, bluntly, we’ve been conditioned by living in a patriarchal capitalist society to believe that we should only be doing things that we are good at, that we can ‘master’, that we can make money from.
So here is a PSA to remind you that you don’t need to be good at something to do it, or to enjoy it. And just because you assume you won’t enjoy something, because you assume you won’t be good at it, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a go if you’d like to.
Letting go of pressures to perform
So, instead, here’s what I’d invite you to try: letting go of expectations of yourself. Let go of the need to finish the thing and for it to be a masterpiece. Let go of the need to share what you’ve done afterwards, to another person but also to social media. You don’t need ‘likes’ to know that you’ve enjoyed yourself – in fact, doesn’t that add a layer of pressure?!
So what if you let go of the pressure of an outcome? Let go of the pressures you put on yourself to perform? Let go of any idea of a perfect drawing?
What if you just sit down to create, purely to connect and spend some quality time with yourself? Just create for the sake of creating. Doesn’t that take the pressure off?!
2. Focus on the process of creating, rather than the outcome
Enjoy the journey
You can let go of any expectations of yourself and your creating, and in the process tune into the journey of creating, rather than only focussing on the destination: the art at the end.
I think we can reassess our priorities again here. If we are putting pressure on ourselves to create something that we’ll only be happy with once it’s ‘perfect’, then are we really enjoying the creating? If we give ourselves a hard time whilst painting a picture and then hang the finished picture on the wall, what are the chances that we’ll be reminded of that hard time we gave ourselves when we look at it?
This is a great example of what we can learn from making art mindfully. We can use art to show ourselves what it’s like to mindfully stay in the present moment, and how we can slow down in our daily lives. By simply letting our hands make slow marks on the page, we can see creating as an act of slowing ourselves down. We can see art as a way to relax.
Deeper joy with simple moments
We can experience contentment in the simple moments, and not only celebrate when there’s a ‘correct’ or ‘perfect’ outcome. This can bring deeper joy to our lives, not only when we’re creating but in many (all?) other areas too.
And letting go of specific outcomes means we can experiment, we can play with art. It’s like being your own art scientist. What happens if I do this? What happens if I paint on this? What happens if I mix this with this? This mindful way of creating helps us to see what happens from moment to moment.
By settling into the moment and the process of creating itself, you may even enjoy making the art more if you don’t know what it’s going to be like in the end. It’s unfolding in front of us!
Maybe success isn’t having a finished piece of art, but the fact that we have created that piece of art, full-stop.
3. Notice when judgemental thoughts appear
Use mindfulness when making art
Part of being a mindfulness teacher is that when I lead my mindful art sessions, I can use mindfulness tools too. I find that personally creating art mindfully is a wonderful way to prioritise my mental well-being.
What’s funny about the mind and about our thoughts is that we’re probably not aware of them until someone draws attention to them. We’re probably not aware of how many judgements go through our minds each day.
Another way that art can teach us helpful life lessons is by noticing judgements. I’ll save a more in-depth chat for another time, but for now I think a helpful idea is about recognising judgements that appear in the mind.
Our brains are excellent at jumping to conclusions, and they’re quite likely to be negative conclusions, too, e.g. “I’m rubbish at art, there’s no point in me even trying that, it won’t be good.”
“Thanks for the contribution, inner art critic. Where did you do your art training?”
Noticing and labelling our thoughts
So, we can begin to notice that judgements have arisen, and then we can decide what we want to do next. We could assume that this thought is a fact (spoiler alert: your thoughts aren’t facts) and give up before we’ve started, reinforcing the idea that we should only do something when we know we’ll do a good job of it.
OR we could acknowledge the thought by labelling it as “judging”, acknowledge that it’s our brain trying to keep us safe by keeping us in familiar territory, and make a conscious decision to let go of that thought like it’s a helium balloon.
Then thinking about how we can meet that judgement with self-compassion. Self-compassion is the idea that we are human and therefore we have problems and are likely to make mistakes, but we are still good, we are doing our best and we are still worthy of love and self-acceptance. Even if we dip our paintbrush in our tea, or spill paint on the carpet.
We can practice stepping back from judgemental thoughts and meeting them with self-compassion. We can listen to what we need. We can go at our own pace with making art. We can let ourselves get things wrong. We can be kind to ourselves if we find something challenging. We can let ourselves make a mess and colour outside the lines.
4. Take time to slow down and create
I’ve often heard people say that they can’t find time to stop for making art. Or that it feels selfish to do something just for them.
I totally understand this, and often feel it myself. There are so many things to be done during our days and weeks, and we can be pulled in so many different directions. So when are we possibly meant to sit down and do something as frivolous as making art?!
The reality is that we need to make time for ourselves to do the things that help us to slow down and process our day.
So actually, it's not frivolous at all. Taking time out for ourselves reminds us that we are worthy of taking time out for ourselves.
It reminds us that it’s okay to be in touch with our feelings, and to explore our feelings through creativity, even when we’re not feeling good. It reminds us we can be silly and engage with our inner child. It reminds us that we can make mistakes and still be on our own side, and it gives us an opportunity to practice this.
Self-care isn't selfish and self-care isn't egotistical. Self-care isn't just about the self. Self-care affects people around us, too.
Even if you take 5 minutes for yourself, notice what it feels like to do that for yourself. Take that time out for yourself and really acknowledge that you have. Show yourself some gratitude that you are prioritising yourself in this way. Celebrate yourself. Pat yourself on the back. Have a celebratory cup of tea. Dance with your pet. Throw yourself a parade.
5. Let yourself use the nice art materials you’ve been ‘saving for the right time’
I absolutely wrote this one for myself. I have two very strong but opposing views about the art materials that we use.
Part of me is a massive advocate for ‘fun’ art materials: googly eyes, toilet roll tubes, recycled wrapping paper, that sort of thing. I am a massive junk modelling fan – I just have a blast when I’m junk modelling, and I’m totally connecting with my inner child and her love of building things.
When I host my mindful art sessions, I want to make accessibility top priority, and for me that includes making my art workshops feel accessible and a safe place to explore. So by presenting people with art materials that are more informal, I think it helps create a more relaxed and supportive atmosphere. I.e. ‘the art materials are relaxed so I can be relaxed too’.
That said, I also think that if we want to use the nice art materials, we absolutely should blimmin’ well use the nice art materials. As an art material accumulator, I have had some things for years and feel like I can’t use them because they are too precious. This is exactly what I mean. What’s the point of having the lovely pencils, if you’re not going to use the lovely pencils?
I had a beautiful tin of Caran d’Ache water-soluble pencils from when I was little that I kept in my stash for *yonks*. It was only in the last few years that I gave myself permission to use them, which sounds quite silly now, but I wonder if you can relate to that feeling? So now, instead of a pristine tin of pencils, all in rainbow order, maybe having been used once or twice each, I have a mug of pencils which are all different lengths, some have a few splatters of paint on… in other words, they are well loved. They still feel special when I use them, and I am using them, rather than revering them to the point of feeling scared to touch them. Let’s let go of preciousness!
So, to sum up
We can learn a lot about being kinder to ourselves from making art. For me, it’s all about letting go of those pesky expectations, and what we ‘should’ be doing. How about we all remove the word ‘should’ from our vocabulary?
So, how about you? Did any of these ideas resonate with you? Is it something you do already? Have you had any a-ha moments? I’d love to hear from you!
I’d love for you to join me to make some art. My art sessions are a great setting to put these ideas into practice. I offer monthly online group mindful art sessions called Meditate & Create on Zoom. You can also work with me 1:1 for more personal art sessions, and I can lead online or in person art for well-being for your staff. I’m based in South Oxfordshire, and I can travel. Let’s chat!
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